his favourite colour . }} pt. 1
The following is a work of fiction… randomly conjured up at around 11pm last night. It is up on soompi forums as well so if any of you see it there… I did not plagiarize.. it’s mine :) enjoy!
The air was thick in the room and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He was suffocating in this room and no one surrounding him knew why. The air was growing heavier by the second and he felt like he was being weighed down with all the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Okay, thanks for coming and volunteering your time with us today! We greatly appreciate it! The kids definitely look forward to this time as well.” His throat was dry and he tried to swallow his saliva in the absence of water. He opened his mouth to speak but nodded instead.
“Bring on the kids!” His buddy was always excited when there were kids around. Not in a creepy perverted way though. He was just destined to be a great dad. Hopefully, someday he would. A loud cheer sounded throughout the room as the children rushed in. It was a temporary distraction that made the air less dense. He was able to breathe better than before and even managed to fake a smile at the children coming towards him.
“Oppa! You can come colour with me and my friends!” A little girl tugged on the bottom of his shirt and he knelt down beside her to hear her better. “O-Okay. Sure.” He followed her slowly as she brought him to another room filled with tables and art supplies. There were many windows in this room and he was thankful for the breeze that continued to blow past him. If he kept near the wind, maybe his tears would dry before they fell.
“I’m gonna draw a cat! Can you draw cats?” He shook his head sorrowfully. “No. I can’t.” The girl scrunched up her nose in disappointment. “That’s okay, Oppa. What can you draw then?” He didn’t know how to respond to that question. He had no idea what he could draw. It had been so long since he tried.
“Oppa! Draw me a flower! A purple one!” She gave a big smile and handed him a purple crayon. Her hair was a mess and her clothes were all muddy. She had just come in from the playground after playing a very competitive game of tag. He gave a nod and took the crayon from her hand. “It has to be pretty! I’m gonna give it my mom when she comes back for me!” He nodded again and began his drawing. One petal, then another, then another, until there were five. He licked his lips and assessed his artwork. It wasn’t very pretty. He gave a small sigh and shook his head in dismay. “Sorry. It’s not very pretty. I’ll make another one.” He had gotten up to throw away his ugly flower when she stopped him. “No, I like it. Make another one for my mom…I’ll keep this one! Then make another for you, it’ll be like a family set!”
“Ah! You’re drawing on the table! That’s not allowed!” He quickly woke from his thoughts and focused on what was happening in front of him. He saw a little girl yelling at a little boy who looked like he was about to cry. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. We’ll just get water to wash it off. Yeah? C’mon bud, it’s okay. I do it all the time.” He really didn’t, he didn’t remember the last time he had used a crayon let alone draw on a table. He just felt bad for the kid. “Oppa. You shouldn’t do that. The new mommys and daddys don’t like disobedient boys and girls. That’s why he’s never chosen.” The little boy sniffled and looked down at his picture. It was a picture of a house with, what he assumed it to be, the little boy and a mom and a dad. He also saw a dog, or at least, it was some animal. “Hey buddy, you wanna play catch or something? We don’t have to stay here and colour.” He said this more for selfish reasons now. He wanted to be out of the building. This orphanage was bringing nothing but stabbing pains to his heart and whole being. The little boy nodded and got up from his seat. The little girl opened her mouth to protest him leaving but the two were already out the door.
“Oppa! Catch!” He didn’t hear her in time. The ball bounced off his head and landed on the table right on the picture he had drawn for her. The ball rolled off the picture and the table onto the ground leaving a trail of murky water. He could hear the sounds of her laughing and running over. “Oppa! You okay? I told you to watch out! Why didn’t you listen? Silly Oppa! Come play with us! All you do is colour! That’s no fun. You’re no fun if you don’t play!” He just sat there and looked at her. He blinked a couple of times and tried to smile. He wanted to play with them. He didn’t want to just sit and colour. But, his mom had told him to sit there and colour and she would be right back. So, what if he wasn’t there colouring and she didn’t know who he was? There were a lot of kids in the orphanage now. What if she didn’t recognize him anymore? He had to wait and colour for her. He shook his head at the bright young girl in front of him and watched as she scrunched up her nose in disappointment. “Party pooper!” She yelled at him as she ran back to the other boys. The other boys who would try and steal her first kiss. The first kiss she specifically stated was for him. He had blushed when she told the group that. Blushed and ran to the bathroom.
“Hyung, catch!” The little boy was now smiling and full of laughter once catch had started. He had hated colouring and thought it was a girly thing but no one ever wanted to do what he wanted to do. Therefore, he was stuck doing girly things like colouring. He nodded as he caught the ball. He nodded his head up to signal to the little boy he was about to throw the ball. He gave a genuine smile as he saw the little boy catch the ball. He watched as his buddy was on the other side of the playground giving the kids horse-rides and acting like one of the kids. Sometimes he envied his buddy’s life. It wasn’t full of the heartache he knew. “Hyung, how old are you? You don’t look very old. Do you think you’re old enough to adopt?” The little boy’s smile faltered as he asked the last question. What he was really asking was if he could be adopted by this hyung. If he could be in a family. He could see the little boy swallow hard and gave a soft smile. “Not old enough to adopt yet. Sorry kiddo,” He responded. They both knew it was lie. He was old enough to adopt. He just wasn’t ready to. Or wanted to. “You’ll get your chance though. I did,” he gave a smile and a nod of reassurance. The little boy gave a small smile back and nodded, “Yeah, that’s what they all tell me.”
“Jay! Say hello to your new parents.” Those words had stunned him. New parents? But he already had parents. His mom was coming for him. His mom said she would be back to pick him up. She came bouncing up beside him and gave him a hug. “They must’ve seen your drawings. I showed them your pictures you drew me! They really liked them. They want you to make them pictures!” She beamed a smile at his new parents as if to persuade them to take her as well. “Yes, we would really like you to make us pictures Jay,” he gave a fatherly smile and put his hand on Jay’s shoulder. Jay froze and didn’t know what to do. This was not his father. He didn’t know who his real father was, but it was certainly not this man. His parents were Korean. Not white.
Jay gave a sigh as he kicked at the grass. His game of catch had ended when the children were called in for dinner. His buddy was trying to get the grass stains out of his jeans, but ultimately gave up. “Hey! Jay! Do you think grass-stained jeans will become a fashion statement? Should I maybe tie-dye the jeans to make it look better?” Jay shook his head and gave a laugh. He waved his hand in a ‘you’re-kidding-me-right?’ fashion and his friend jogged over. “So, you seemed pretty quiet today. Usually you’re all over the kids. Not, in a creeper way… ya know?” Jay nodded, put his hands in his front pockets and turned to look at the yellow-bricked building before him. The sun was setting the glow of the sun made the building seem ever more yellow. The windows each showed a reflection of the sun and Jay had to put a hand out to stop from squinting. “Yeah… it’s just the place, man. Good memories and painful ones.” His buddy gave a tight smile and patted Jay on the shoulder. “Sorry. I forgot this was the place. How long has it been?” Jay shrugged and sat down on the grass. He picked at the grass and made knots, just like she and him used to do long ago.
